3 years, 7 months, 22 days, 13 hours, 30 minutes, and two posts about the word cisgender later, here we are
I’ve never been particularly great with good byes. But after nearly four years here I think it’s time for one, even if it’s temporary. When I started this blog, inebriated at a friend’s apartment in college, I never expected to have the reception I wound up getting. While I find it crass to discuss “tumblarity,” I think it goes without saying that I’ve made several wonderful friends as a result of pouring my soul into the ever-changing blogmachine. And I wouldn’t trade any of that for the world. For the past four years I’ve had the ultimate outlet for my stupidest thoughts and deepest emotions. And I’ve received amazing support for/in spite of that. I hate the word community as it pertains to the Internet, but that’s what I found here. A true, mostly welcoming community. I honestly don’t think I would be the person I am today, for better or for worse, without this blog and you who read it. I’ve seen the absolute best and worst of people thanks to Tumblr and again, I wouldn’t trade it for anything. It made the internet human for me. It connected this socially awkward weirdo to a world I never thought I could have access to.
And it truly changed my life. My blog got me fired from a job that I not-so-secretly hated. Then you all offered comfort and support the likes of which I hardly got in my offline life. Shortly thereafter, you all threw your weight behind me as I embarked on the greatest adventure of my life and now I live 1200 miles from where I grew up and I absolutely would not be here if it wasn’t for each and every one of you. Tumblr has been a force for great things in my life but like all great things, it must come to an end.
It’s also been a force for drama and hate in my life and, honestly, that’s why I’m calling it a day. The mask of anonymity online is abused by far too many individuals. And it’s gotten out of hand in this corner of the blogosphere. I’ve turned off anonymous asking but it’s still just as easy for people to make fake screen names to harass and belittle. I’ve always taken pride in using my full name, which ACTUALLY IS Paul Phillips, on this site because I have nothing to hide. I’ve been more than open here and I think that’s the fun of it. I treated this like my very, very public journal and some people didn’t much care for that. Let the record show that those individuals are not the reason I’m leaving.
So that’s it. Good bye for now. A day may come when I return but I need to exist on an actual plane of reality for a while. I’m in the greatest city on Earth and I constantly find myself behind a computer screen. I’m going to get out and live my life.
That said, my email address is firstname.lastname@example.org. If we are particularly close here, please keep in contact - I still want you in my life. Feel free to add me on gchat as well. I’m working on a book and I’ll be drawing from a lot of what I’ve written about here, so the blog will remain in its current form for former (*ahem*), current, and prospective employers to find and be disgusted by.
I need a tan, so I’ll be outside. Lylas, internet.